How to Wow Tiger Woods

YOU’RE AT A TIGER WOODS appearance. It’s one of Tiger’s course design projects and he pulls out his driver to hit a few ceremonial tee shots for a crowd that includes potential investors.

Tiger, as he’s apt to do, loses a couple of drives to the right. Who else wants to try? he asks.

The crowd goes silent. Some of the onlookers scan the group to see if anyone has the guts to take an impromptu golf swing in front of the world’s greatest golfer. That’s when you raise your hand.

“You’re up,” Tiger says.

You walk over, grab a driver and a ball, and tee it up. You take one practice swing. Then you pipe one right down the gut of one of Tiger’s soon-to-be-designed golf holes.

Cue cheers. Cue applause.

“Wow,” Tiger says. “Do that again. We got to see that again.”

You oblige.

“Well done,” Tiger says.

You act all casual about it. And then you wake up. Unless you’re Mark Benevento Jr. of Somers Point, New Jersey. Mark is 12 years old. A seventh grader. He’s also my new hero.

−The Armchair Golfer


Photo of author
Neil Sagebiel

3 thoughts on “How to Wow Tiger Woods”

  1. He's my hero, too. I would no more like to play 18 holes with Tiger Woods than I would to spar 12 rounds with Ali. I make a fool of myself often enough with trying very hard; I really don't need to myself in that position.


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