The Grinch Steals Time at Golf Course

(holidayexpress.org)

THANKS TO AN ANONYMOUS TIP, ARMCHAIR GOLF caught up to the Grinch after a recent round of golf. As it turns out, the Grinch has been playing four days a week at what is normally his busiest time of year.

“So how are things in Whoville?” we asked.

“Rotten,” the Grinch snickered.

“The Whos are really hurting. Christmas isn’t even worth stealing this year. Why do you think I’m playing golf? I had to find something else to do.”

The Grinch has been teeing it up at an undisclosed location, a well-known private club that fears bad publicity if word gets out that the Grinch is its newest member.

“These golf clubs, even the private ones, are losing members in droves,” the Grinch said.

“Membership is down 29 percent and one in five private clubs could be gone in five years. They had to take me.”

And how does the Grinch know so much about the state of golf?

“I read it in the Wall Street Journal,” he said. “Free subscription.”

Actually, the Grinch doesn’t even like golf.

“Dumb game,” he said. “But it’s great for killing time, and I’ve got plenty of it. Mainly, I like driving the cart. I even drive it on the greens.

“They’re not going to do anything about it,” the Grinch added, chuckling. “Hey, I’m one of their only players now.”

−The Armchair Golfer